Weekend reflection #47 What a crazy Week!

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This week went by way too quickly. I didn’t accomplish as much as I ought to have. I was expected to contact Birth and Beyond. This organization offers totally free services for low income families expecting a new baby. They have a center best here in North Highlands. but I just haven’t had the motivation to get off of my butt and go down there. It is hard to get motivated when you are depressed.

I’m also expected to contact medical again and update our income again. They made a mistake and have us making a lot much more money than we actually do. because of this we have what is called a share of cost. What this implies is that we have to spend x amount of dollars out of our pocket before medical will kick in. We can not afford this. and I have my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday. I hope I won’t be too late if I fix this on Monday. I can’t afford to spend money on my appointment. again I am going to blame the depression and the fact that I hate going down to the department of Human Assistance.

I have to do these things on Monday. but that implies sacrificing something else. Either my blog will get neglected, preschool or housework. Or I will have to give up a combination of the three. Either way I am going to have to give into something so I can get off of my butt and head over to Watt Ave. to go to those two places. It stinks too because I am going to have to drag both little ones with me.

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Chris had an uneventful work week. He has another week of 40 hours. If he’s working full time now you’d think they would offer benefits but sadly they don’t. So he is still searching for a better job. I really want him to search in other states other than California. For one thing we need to relocation out of this house after the baby is born because this place is just too darn small. but he needs a better job so we will be able to afford a bigger house. I don’t want to end up living in tent City.

Courtney had a good school week. Her sore throat is much better and she did not have strep. She went to school every day. yesterday was expected to be “pie day.” instead of having math class the kids were going to have a party and eat pie. but all school mass fell on the same time as the “pie day” celebration so it is postponed until Monday.

Ciara was awful from Monday- Thursday. Every single day she misbehaved. On Monday she took her brand new bottle of shampoo and her brand new bottle of bath bubbles and disposed them in the tub. because of my tension level, pregnancy hormones and depression I overreacted. I did not know how to deal with the situation. first I spanked her, then I sent her to her room, then I cried, then I called my husband, after that I threw up and cried some more. It took me a few hours to calm down. I am frightened to death that I won’t be able to deal with these situations anymore. At least until I feel better about myself. The thing is we don’t have a whole lot of money and last week I did have a little extra so I purchased her the special shampoo and bubble bath. typically I just use regular soap and the few sample bottles of baby wash I have left from the medical facility when Conan was born. I’ve never purchased them bubble bath. So I was hurt by her actions. Am I a bad mother because of it? I don’t think so.

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The rest of the week Ciara made messes every single day and refused to clean them up. I tried every form of discipline in the book to get her to listen. She refuses to listen to Mommy. So when daddy came home I had him deal with the situation. I don’t know if she is much more intimidated by him or what but she always listens to her dad. My counselor thinks that I need to read the book Parenting with love and Logic: teaching children Responsibility. They also have a book developed just for toddlers and preschoolers, toddlers and Preschoolers: love and Logic for early childhood six Months to five Years. I ought to probably read both books.

Conan is learning new things every day. one day I chose I would instruct preschool to both of them. I didn’t know how much Conan would pay attention so I sat him down with some crayons and a coloring book while I worked with Ciara. When we were doing the counting flash cards he choSE počítať spolu s nami. Dokázal počítať až do 20 rokov ako Ciara. Bol som ohromený. Všetko nasáva. Conanovi sa na nočníku darí lepšie. Podarilo sa mi ho dostať každý deň na to, ale ešte ešte neodišiel. Nenávidí nasadenie plienky, takže mu vždy dávam na výber. Najprv môže nosiť plienku alebo si sadnúť na nočník. Conan si vždy vyberá nočník. Včera v noci povedal svojmu otcovi, že chce ísť nočník. Chris sa ho pokúsil dať na jeho malú nočník, ale nepáčilo sa mu to. Chcel sedieť na veľkom nočníku rovnako ako Ciara.

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